Tainted
by griffinscale
Summary: Companion to Back In Time- this is Draco’s side of the story. He becomes a Death Eater; sees firsthand the cruelty and ruthlessness of the Death Eaters. Horrified and tormented by their actions, and his own, he sinks into self-loathing, feeling tainted
1. Chapter 1

Tainted

Summary: Companion to Back In Time- this is Draco's side of the story. He becomes a Death Eater, but sees firsthand the cruelty and ruthlessness of the Death Eaters. Horrified and tormented by their actions, and his own, he sinks into depression and self-loathing. He feels utterly tainted, damned.

**Though this is the companion to BIT, you do not need to have read that to understand this story.**

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. Only this story based on her wonderful world is mine, and I am not making any money off of this.

**Please Review!**

Chapter One: The Dark Mark

Draco laid on his bed thinking. His father had been arrested, which both angered and relieved him.

He was angry because it sullied the Malfoy name and cast suspicion on him and his mother. Also, the Auors had raided their manor, searching for Dark artifacts, of which they had a few, but most of them were Lucius' and hidden in his study and the secret second basement.

They had consfiticated them and warned them about the consequences, and they checked their post, outgoing and incoming. It was intrusive and shaming!

Draco's cheeks flushed. Now he worried about his actions or words or anything being misinterpreted and him being put on trial, which would drag the Malfoy name further into the mud. And it would very likely result in his going to Azkaban, with the Dementors. He shuddered.

As for his relief to Lucius' imprisionment, that was due to how Lucius treated him. Yes, he spoiled him, but he continually expressed his disappointment, especially with the mudblood girl Granger being better than him. He was a _pureblood,_ she a _mudblood,_ Muggle-raised, introduced to the Wizarding World at a later age, yet she outstripped him!

Lucius had continued, giving him a severe tongue-lashing and even going as far as to put him under the Cruciatus for five minutes, while he writhed and tried to stop himself from screaming, biting into his lip- so deeply he would need to see a private Healer- until he couldn't hold back his screams.

That had shocked him to an extent. He hadn't thought his father would do such a thing, _could _do such a thing to him.

Afterwards he had avoided his father and when he was in the vicinity, refused to look him in the eye, but looked beyond him or averted his gaze slightly to the side of his face.

Then Lucius had slapped him. "You will look at me, boy! It is not befitting of a Malfoy to be such a weak coward! You are turning out to be a disgrace!"

That had made his cheeks burn with shame and anger, which earned him another slap.

"You will rein in your emotions! You should not display your emotions, especially so blatantly!"

"Yes, Father."

"Hmph. You should do your studies. Your schoolwork and your lessons in politics, diplomacy, magic and music. The schedule for this summer is 7 to 11 schoolwork until you've finished all of it, then your lessons will be longer. In the meantime, 11 to 12 is music. 12 to 3 is politics and diplomacy. Then at 4:30 is magic. Your hour and half is only so you can rest, so you won't be too tired to be at your best in thinking and strength. So, 4:30 to 8 is magic, and we're going to start you on aerobics. That will be in the mornings, after you're completely done with schoolwork."

"Yes, Father. Will I be having lessons today?"

"You start tomorrow."

His lessons were hard, particularly politics and diplomacy; magic and aerobics. But they were worth it. He knew the many laws and loopholes that some of them had, and how to speak convincingly, with poise and strength. He knew better how to charm people and get them to support him.

And in magic and aerobics- he was becoming more powerful, faster and more accurate, as well as having a larger arsenal of spells.

In aerobics he had perfected his balance and got in tune with his body so he could precisely control his movement. He could dodge quickly, somersaults on the ground, and even do backflips. With the aid of his magic he could sometimes run up walls.

In duels he learned to incorporate those moves, making him even more of a threat.

---

Draco's chest heaved as he sighed heavily. He was feeling the pressure. Tonight he was to be inducted into the Death Eaters' ranks and receive the Dark Mark.

He would stand before the Dark Lord himself; actually meet him. He was both apprehensive and eager.

But in becoming a Death Eater he would prove himself, and he would prove to his father he was not a disgrace. He would redeem himself in the eyes of the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters.

Yes, he would do his best, and be strong. If he did so, he would be respected. And he would be fighting for the cause, for the betterment of the Wizarding World. Cleanse it and keep it secure and strong. No mudbloods to risk the secrecy of the Wizarding World or dilute their magical strength or purity through reproduction.

Though what would they do with mudbloods in the future? Eliminate them or somehow block their magic?

But maybe they should do away with Muggles entirely. Pollution was real, and maybe global warming was. These were a destructive, foolish people. Yes, it would be best to eradicate them. It would solve the problem of keeping their world a secret, not having to fear attack or subjection to study.

The rest of the day sped by, with his last lesson in magic and aerobics and then supper, and before he knew it, it was time to prepare for his induction. He put on one of his best robes, Acromantula spun silk, which was strong and durable, very good for protection. It was black with dark emerald hems. He slicked his hair back, and he was done. A quick look in the mirror, and he looked quite good.

He bade his mother goodbye and took hold of the portkey that would bring him to the Dark Lord, a silver goblet.

He landed directly of his to be Lord and knelt, bowing his head. "Milord. It is an honor to meet you, and to join your ranks."

There was a hair-raising chuckle, slightly high and cold. "Good, young Malfoy. Pledge yourself to me and you will receive the Mark."

Draco nodded and recited the standard pledge: "I will honor my Lord, and do what is required of me. I will do my best, and before all else comes the Dark Lord and my commitment. My Lord and the cause comes first. I will bear the Dark Mark with pride, but keep it concealed so that I may continue as a Death Eater." The pledge was done.

"Rise."

He rose and bared his left forearm, holding his sleeve back.

"_Morsmordre!_"

Draco clamped his lips as white hot pain started in his arm and spread to the rest of his body, along with an odd sensation of power. . He would not make a sound, he would not show weakness, no matter what. The sensation receded slightly and the pain faded everywhere except in his forearm He could feel the Dark Mark etching itself onto his arm, and the darkness and the power it contained. He told himself the pain was worth it, for the power it would bring.

He watched in awed fascination as a blackness appeared on his arm and began to take shape, first forming a skull, then the snake that completed the Mark.

"It is done." Voldemort was pleased.

Draco looked at his arm. The Dark Mark contrasted sharply with his pale skin, and he blinked. It was so… real, so very there. He bowed his head, and said, "Thank you, milord."

"Rise, and go to prove yourself. You will go with Severus and the Carrows to a Muggle household and take care of them. In doing so, you will be punishing a high-ranking Ministry offical who had a hand in the arrest of several of our number at the Department of Mysteries," he hissed.

Draco nodded.

"Midnight. You should meet with your partners for the assignment. I'm sure you will do an admirable job, but there is the matter of not being detected or caught."

"Of course. I will go now, my Lord, if there's nothing else?"

"No. Go and meet them."

Draco nodded and left.

They met in one of the drawing rooms.

"So, how about anti-Apparition wards so that the Order or Aurors can't Apparate into the house or the vicinity? And…" Draco paused, considering. "Of course a strong Silencing charm on the house, so no one but us can hear anything." He knew Severus was very talented at wards.

Severus nodded at his godson. "Good. And we have to put up wards so that the Ministry will not detect Dark Magic or wizards in the house or vicinity."

They Portkeyed away to the house. The family was related to a high-ranking official in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, who had been involved in some of the Death Eaters' arrest at the Department of Mysteries. The family did not know about magic, though- at least not everyone. Only the parents knew the truth. They lived there, and so did the official's grandparents and the official's orphaned nephew, aged seven.

It was a nice, upscale house in a pleasant neighborhood. The house was Tudor-style. They entered silently and immediately set up the necessary wards and the Silencing charm.

Amycus went for the boy, while Alecto went for the grandparents, and Severus and Draco went to the parents' room.

"Levicorpus," Severus muttered, pointing his wand at the man and woman in turn. They were levitated to hang upside down. Of course, they woke up, with bewildered and frightened expressions.

"Wh-what are you doing here? Are you Death Eaters?" The man asked, gray eyes wide and pleading for mercy.

Severus smirked. "Apparently. Now, let's get to it! Crucio!"

The man screamed and writhed, an odd sight as he was upside down.

"Stop it! Stop!" The woman cried out. "Please! What have we done?"

"Nothing, really. But you're the parents of an Alexander Thorpe."

"Wh-what?"

"This is a gift for him, of sorts." Severus smiled darkly.

The man somehow managed a growl, "Heartless bastard!"

"But of course."

"Why?" The woman trembled.

"Two reasons. Your son has been very foolish and angered the Dark Lord. And you let mudblood filth into the world. Even worse, into ours. For this, you must suffer."

The woman burst into sobs.

This did not deter Severus. Rather, he looked at Draco. "Take the woman, and I will continue with the man."

Draco steeled himself and brought his wand down in a vicious arc, crying out "Crucio!"

Screams rose in crescendo as time went by, until they stopped, throats raw.

The man fell to the floor with a jerk of Severus' wand. Coldly, he murmured, "Avada Kedavra!" A jolt of green light went for the man, and all that was left of the man's terrible awareness faded out of his eyes, and his body seemed to drain.

Draco swallowed. Now he would have to do the same. He wrenched his mouth open and forced the words out. He inhaled sharply when the woman went lifeless.

He glanced at his godfather. How could he do this, and so calmly, even seeming to enjoy it? This was nothing like he'd thought. He realized he hadn't actually ever really thought about this part. He had been so naive.

He wondered what was really behind the mask. Which side was Severus really on? He seemed to be quite loyal, but Dumbledore... He was a brilliant, powerful wizard. Why did he continue to trust the other man?

But he remained quiet as they left the room. Just then, an overpowering stench reached them.

He heard Alecto's thrilled laughter and a chill went down his spine. Slowly, reluctantly, he followed Severus into the room. His eyes widened when he saw the mangled body of a young boy with what looked to be the official's grandparents. This must be the nephew, and- he gagged. The boy was only six years old. Alecto must have brought the grandparents to witness the boy's torment, then tortured them and made the boy watch, before killing them with vicious curses that mangled them. Amycus was smiling down at the bodies.

Draco felt nauseous.

They emerged the house and Severus sent the Dark Mark into the dark sky.

Back at the Manor, Draco threw his robes onto the floor and ran to the bathroom, reaching the toilet just in time to retch. He wiped his mouth with water from the sink and stared at his reflection.

He didn't look well. He was paler than usual and slightly sweaty. Sighing, he washed his hands and thought that he would have a hard time sleeping tonight. If he did get to sleep, he would likely have nightmares. He opened the medicine cabinet and took out a vial of Dreamless Sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I wrote this maybe a month or so ago, but I've been busy. Please review and let me know what you think of how I'm handling things and how Draco behaves, how I write him.

Chapter Two: Afterwards

Draco woke up, comfortable in his soft bed, sunlight streaming onto his blankets. He stretched then froze as last night came back to him.

No, he didn't want to think about it! What could he do though? Mentally he moaned. He forced himself to get out of bed and decided he would get some exercise. Maybe that'd help a bit. He went to the gym and jogged around the room, warming up. Afterwards, he stretched for several moments then went over to the bars to do pull-ups. One, two, three… and on to fifty. He paused to drink some water before flinging himself viciously back into exercise.

He ran down and up the stairway that led to the indoor pool beneath.

He was a bit sore an hour and half later, but it was good. He had relieved some of his anger and guilt, at least for a while. _Some_ was the keyword.

Draco drank water, cooled down and stretched before he went down to the pool. He did all sorts- freestyle, the butterfly, the breaststroke, and the backstroke…

When he was done he headed back up to his room and selected some clothes and took a long, hot shower. It relieved some of his tension and the heat was just _good_. After having dried off and getting dressed, he got some breakfast before proceeding to the library. He had completed all of his school work two weeks after the end of the school year, but he needed to do something. He decided to read some history texts as well as some on meditation.

No, you wouldn't think the Malfoys would have any such books, but they realized the importance of being in tune with oneself, and the effects it had. Also, it allowed the witch or wizard to explore their minds and magical cores and tap into their core, to release some of that potential and harness it.

He finished reading the history texts, having learned some more things and feeling a bit eased, as he wasn't thinking about the night before. Nevertheless, he brought the books on meditation outside with him to the garden where he sat; legs crossed Indian-style, his eyes closed, in the sunlight.

His skin almost seemed to absorb the sunlight then glow with it, and his hair shone.

Deep inside himself, in a soothing darkness that felt as his eyes were merely closed- which they were, but it goes to say that it was nothing like the blackness of night, the absence of light or hope. He was at peace, and slowly his body came into focus.

Draco could feel himself in sharp clarity; detail. He felt the roots of his hair; he felt his eyelashes, his fingernails, and his limbs. Such detail and awareness it was incredible.

He could also feel the life all around him, in the soil, in the plants, and he was acutely aware of it. Somehow the air was so very crisp, so very _there_, and he breathed it in with a deep inhale. Fresh and clean.

He could feel the irregularities in the ground. The rocks in the dirt, rolling hills… He could sense the life, the animals and their consciousness and it was as if he was everywhere, everything.

Somehow he managed not to lose himself in it all, and remembered he was a person, an _individual._ It was hard as he felt so alive and so aware.

Yes, he had to do this again. Opening his eyes, he let it go, and his awareness faded away, making something in him cry out at the loss. It took a minute or two to fully orient himself, and then he stretched and focused on his body and who he was.

That had been enlightening and peaceful. He actually smiled. Still smiling, he summoned a notepad and an Everlasting Quill, sketching his surroundings. It was a natural skill, an affinity. He could draw with beauty and precision.

He did so, more brilliantly than ever before, using the knowledge from his meditation. When he was done he waved his wand to make a copy.

Holding the copy, he breathed life into it with his wand and colors bloomed. Looking at it he smiled again. Sometimes sketching made him feel better. He went through the garden and their property, drawing the different plants, trees and some ponds…

Draco cried out all of a sudden, his Dark Mark paining him as though it was on fire. He ran back to the house, threw his things on his desk and changed into his Death Eater robes and pocketed his mask. Why now? He didn't want to think of the Dark Lord or Death Eaters or anything remotely related. He pulled his hood up to hide his face.

He put on a chained necklace with a serpent on it and activated it with a whisper. _"In camera."_

Standing before the Dark Lord, he knelt and bowed his head, keeping his eyes lowered. "My Lord."

"I am pleased with your success. I myself checked the house and spoke to Severus beforehand. Well done indeed. You shall be rewarded, my boy." He hissed, and Draco fought the urge to shudder.

"Do not expect this however. You have to earn rewards. Now, Draco, you have proven yourself and are worthy of recognition- and respect, with the skill clearly displayed last night. What do you desire?

Draco couldn't think of anything, but he didn't dare say so. He scrambled to think of something. "Well, I certainly would like the Malfoy name to be redeemed and to regain my status in society. Other than that, I want knowledge."

"Interesting. Look at me, young Malfoy. I believe I may be able to exert influence regarding the matter of your redemption and status. Yes. I will speak to the right people and they will take care of it. Once you get that back, you will be stronger and more important."

'More important? Is he implying I'm not important, even worthless?' Anger and pain flared, but he kept his voice steady and showed nothing of his feelings. "Thank you." He nodded respectfully.

"As for knowledge, what kind of knowledge do you seek?"

"All sorts. I have trained in magic, but I wish to further advance. I wish to know more, and be of more assistance. I could study how blood and magic affect each other. I could study what determines magical strength and how to specifically find it and _know_ it, not just tap into it."

"Fascinating. Very interesting array. Why exactly, though? You said to help, but why those areas?

"They are intriguing and the knowledge could be important in the coming war."

"Hm… I believe I have may some books on these topics in my library, and some would be in the Blacks' library. Bella?"

"Of course, my Lord."

"You are certain you will be able to get in?"

"I should, but perhaps it'll be Narcissa who has the right, since I am a former Azkaban prisoner, albeit an escaped one. However, since Sirius Black is free, maybe she will not be able…"

"He is an escaped convict as well, is he not? He has not been cleared." Looking to Draco, he said, "Talk to your mother, Draco. Tell me if it is doable, and if you find anything. You may go."

"Milord." He nodded, not looking at the Dark Lord's face and stood. He walked away and grasped the serpent on his necklace. _"Domus."_

Draco walked up the long path to the garden, and through it, into the back of the manor, and up to his room. He pulled off his robes, wishing dearly to fling them onto the ground, but not doing so- instead he put them neatly in the closet after extracting the mask from the pocket to hide it in a better place.

He was not sure why he had chosen those areas of knowledge, not quite, but he thought they had significance and that yes, the knowledge could be useful in the war- but perhaps against the Dark Lord.

Draco shivered. Traitorous, dangerous thoughts. He must be careful and guard his thoughts and not be rash, especially around the Dark Lord. He didn't know if he would actually use the knowledge, much less against the Dark Lord, but he certainly wasn't going to anytime soon.

'Shit, what have I gotten myself into?' He called his personal elf and told it to bring him some lunch and a bottle of firewhisky, and not to breathe a word to his mother. The elf nodded, eyes wide, and returned quickly.

He dismissed the elf and ate moodily, staring out into nothingness, despite the lovely view outside the window. He gulped down a large amount of the firewhisky, and his throat seared and his eyes watered. Still, he continued drinking. He wished he could drink himself to oblivion.

_**In camera -in secret (literally "in the chamber")**_

In this case it means "in the chamber."

Source: the tips bank (period) com (slash) latin (period) htm

_**Domus**_- home

Source: Latintranslation (.) net (/) p111721-latin-translation-tools (.) cfm

(Annoying how I can't give the actual link, due to the site's rules, and is the second way I did it alright; permissible?)


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